Elijah's Grandfather passes away

On March 18th, Elijah's grandfather passed away in his sleep.  He had been hospitalized for various health reasons his last two weeks with his wife and all of his children constantly attending him.  He was loved and respected by his family and community.  My children have grown up visiting them often.  Gillian lived her first two years of her life in Georgia and Jefferson was born there.  That was priceless for my children's relationship with Elijah's side of the family.  We kept our family bond strong even when we moved to Virginia visiting them every other month. And even though these past three years we have lived far away from Georgia, we have been able to find ways for them to spend time with family.  They spent three weeks one summer just fishing with grandpa, building with papa, cooking with mama, and just having fun with Abel.  Last Christmas, we celebrated the holidays with all of the family in Georgia, and that was the last time my children, Elijah and I saw grandpa.  He was a good and honest man, hard working and industrious.  My kids loved and respected him.  It is a blessing for my children to have such a legacy.

Jefferson drew on this napkin and gave it to Grandpa as a gift during the Christmas holidays.  In it he has depicted Grandpa on a boat fishing.

My father-in-law kept us well informed during Grandpa's hospitalization.  Initially, it didn't seem that serious, but as days passed it became clear that he had decided to leave this earth.  Here are some excerpts from my father-in-law's emails to us all:

Family,
FYI, Update, etc. Yesterday, 23 Feb. 2013, Grandpa had excessive swelling throughout his body due to fluid build-up. He went to Polk/Floyd Medical Center and stayed overnight. The Doctor prescribed Lasics, (water pills) to remove the fluid. He had a catheter, and passed a lot of fluid. By 10:00 last night his ankles were visible/recognizable again, and he was still draining. Bill stayed thru the night, though there was no need for anyone to stay with him. Grandpa was released from the hospital this morning, and is now at home. I'm sure he would appreciate any phone calls you might give him. I will continue to pass along updates asap. Thanks, Donald

March 13, 2013

We are staying at the hospital around the clock, 24 hrs, since he was in Polk General. He can move his legs, but they do not work well enough to walk. We are all tired, but are carrying on and dealing with it. At this time, I do not feel that his life is in danger, but if he did not have hospital care, he would be in danger. As it is now, he is in a bad way, but with the nurses and doctors, and one of us watching him every hour, I suppose he has good care.

March 14, 2013

On Tuesday, after a prayer asking that I have help to say things right, and talking with Elijah about it, I asked my father (during one of his brief moments of rational thought and conversation) if he remembered a few years ago when he had a serious eye condition which could have resulted in blindness. At that time I had felt impressed to explain to him and mother about Priesthood Blessings again. I did so, and offered to give him a blessing if he wanted one. He said he wanted to receive one, and I administered to him. Two weeks later, after the operation when the bandages were removed, the doctor pronounced it a miracle, his eye was healed - he could see perfectly! He said "Yes, I remember that".

I then asked him if he remembered when mother had pancreatic cancer and the doctor said she would die from it? "Yes, he said, I remember that too". Well, I said, Jeremy and I were there that night at your house, and mother asked us for a blessing. Jeremy anointed her, I was voice. She was blessed that she would live, that the cancer would not kill her, you will not die from this cancer! She is cancer free today, for the past several years, Do you remember that? I asked? Yes, he said, we have talked about it in the past. Do you believe in these things? Yes, I do, he said.

  

I asked him if he would like to receive another blessing, he said "Yes, but not right now". Puzzled, I asked, Why not right now? Because, he said, I think others need to be present when we do it. Who? I asked. "Ann" (mother) he said, I think she should be here. Anyone else? Yes, any of the rest of the family who would like to be here. I agreed with him, we would wait. Tonight, I decided it was time to proceed. I asked for prayers from David who had called, then briefly recounted that previous conversation to my father and asked him if he would like to receive a blessing now. 

We were all there except for my Brother Bill, who had already gone home, and Rita's husband Vacel. My father wished to do it tonight, and nobody present objected, so I gave him a blessing of peace and comfort, relief from the pain, assurance that Heavenly Father was aware and in charge of events in our lives, that he loved us, that there were loved ones waiting beyond the veil to greet him and welcome him home when his time came, that he had lived a good life and set a good example, teaching his children and grandchildren well, that he was loved and respected by those who knew him in this life, and that it was all right to go if he was called home. He was told not to worry about things here, we would take care of mother and other things. I am sure there were probably a few other things said which I do not remember now, but it was a spiritual time. 

He felt the Spirit, and I think everyone did. Of course we were all crying. Then, in a very weak and hoarse voice he gave his testimony! Rita asked him if he wanted to sing a song, and he said Yes! I want us to all sing. We sang one verse of "What a friend we have in Jesus" and he and Rita sang one I did not know, "Ring the Bells of Heaven" or something like that. - I'm telling you, it was a spiritual time. We had made our  "Peace", said our goodbyes, and are willing to accept Heavenly Father's will, whatever it is. Thank you for your prayers. Don

 March 19, 2013

Well, yesterday an unexpected event happened, my Father crossed over through the veil. He passed around 2:50 pm, Monday, 18 March 2013, peacefully in his sleep. He had a fitful, restless, night. Joye's husband Richard stayed at the hospital that night and tended to him. I arrived at the hospital around 8:00 am to stay during the day shift of his 24 hr. care. He was still restless, fidgety, delirious, and anxious. He still called for my Grandfather "Papa", as well as his mother "Mama", and his living sisters Allie and Alma, and brother Chester. He had asked his father "Papa, Come get me", and spoke as though he actually saw all the different people he was speaking to. Very few of the people he called for are still living.

All his vital signs were in the acceptable range, and he was not in a lot of pain due to medication. Around lunch Rita brought Mother to the hospital to visit. While there, we 3 met with a counselor, doctor, and nurse to discuss long term options and which procedures we wished to be performed to prolong life should artificial means be needed to sustain him. Garmon men have generally died in their mid eighties, and the women generally live to their mid nineties. My father would have been 84 yrs. old on 10 April. He would have been miserable in rehab, and if it took him a year to build the strength to walk to his mailbox, how long could we expect that he could have continued doing it? He would have been miserable, hungry, grouchy, and unhappy with the rehab. In other words, he was an old man who had worked all his life, he was tired, he was stubborn, and he had comfortable habits he did not want to give up. We all felt he would be happier to have a comfortable end to his life without pain if possible, rather than be miserable trying to change his lifestyle and make his body do work it hadn't done in years.

I had walked down the long hallway with Mother, and we were returning to the room after discussing the matter. We met the surgeon's nurse, she asked if she could walk with us and talk to us. Mother was holding my right arm, the nurse took Mother's right arm, and said there had been an "incident". I asked how bad, she said she didn't know, but things had taken a turn for the worse right after we left his room. We hurried toward the room as fast as mother and I could walk. I opened the door to see Rita inside crying, with 2 doctors and a male nurse around the bed where they had been working with him. Mother asked How is he? Rita said, He's gone. What? He's gone. Mother gave a gasp and hurried to the bedside and gently held his hand, Oh Fay, she said, I'm so sorry I wasn't here... It just about broke my heart twice, and I had tears to know that my father was gone, and to see my mother's heart breaking.

Rita said that he was still restless after we left, then calmed down somewhat and seemed to settle into a soft, gentle, snoring sleep. She got her phone and called Joye at work. She was standing beside the bed looking at him, talking to Joye, when he stopped snoring and she realized he had also stopped breathing. She asked Joye to hold on for a minute, confirmed that he wasn't breathing and stepped into the hallway and asked the closest nurse to please help, he needed help. The nurse checked him, then called for the doctors. Rita said he had a very tiny weak pulse before the doctors arrived, but they could not find it, and he was unresponsive to their efforts to revive him.

Dr. Buford Harbin assured us that he passed peacefully, without pain. He did not give any outward indication he was dying, he just slipped away quietly in his brief sleep. We certainly did not expect him to go this soon, though we all knew he had been extremely sick for the last 2 or 3 weeks. I will be eternally thankful for the prompting to act, back on the 15th. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life, had I not done so. I wish he had been more coherent that night as he shared his testimony, his voice was hoarse and we could barely understand what he said. He also said some things to me which seemed expressions of a personal nature perhaps of love, or confidence, or apology, but I couldn't understand everything and his voice was too strained for me to ask him to repeat it, he was too tired and weak. I told LuAnn that night, I consider it a blessing of sorts, because now I will remember what I think he was trying to say, and those are the things which bring comfort to my soul. I always knew this day would come... some day, just not today... Thank you everyone, for your prayers and everything else. We love you. Don Garmon and family.

Here is also the obituary announcing Grandpa's death and funeral information:

Mr. Fay C. Garmon, age 83, of Cedartown, passed away on Monday, March 18, 2013. He was born on April 10, 1929 in Bluffton, Alabama. He was the son of the late Clifton Russell Garmon and Electa Mable Peek. He is retired from 34 years of service to Georgia Power Company. Also, he was an active member of Pine Bower Baptist Church; he was a deacon, Sunday school teacher and superintendent, building fund committee member and cemetery caretaker. He also enjoyed traveling with his wife to all 50 states and to 15 foreign countries. Mr. Garmon also loved music; he sang bass in the church choir and played both guitar and banjo. He enjoyed working in the garden, raising cattle, pigs, rabbits, chickens and even milking the cows.

Mr. Garmon is survived by his wife, Elizabeth Ann (Prewett) Garmon; daughters and son-in-laws, Rita Garmon Carter (Vacel) and Joye Garmon Weeks (Richard); sons and daughter-in-laws, Donald C. Garmon (LuAnn) and William A. Garmon (Lisa) ; sisters, Allie Garmon Pope and Alma Garmon Jackson; brother, Chester Garmon; 13 Grandchildren and 17 Great Grandchildren.

Mr. Garmon is preceded in death by his parents; sister, Jane Garmon Voyles; and brothers, Clinton Garmon, Herman Garmon and Carl Garmon.

The funeral arrangements for Mr. Garmon will be conducted on Saturday, March 23, 2013 at Eleven o’clock in the morning at Pine Bower Baptist Church with Rev. Chuck Garner and Rev. Roger Kiser officiating. Mr. Richard Weeks will be delivering the eulogy. Mr. Garmon will lie in state for one hour before the service. Interment will follow in Pine Bower Cemetery with Rev. Billy Vines and Rev. Joe Bates officiating.

The family of Mr. Garmon will receive family and friends on, Thursday, March 21, 2013 from six o’clock in the evening until eight o’clock in the evening at the Gammage Funeral Home.

Mr. Garmon’s grandsons will serve as pallbearers; Elijah Garmon, Jeremy Garmon, Jason Weeks, David Garmon, Casey Garmon, Andrew Carter and Abel Garmon. Honorary pallbearers are the granddaughters and Men’s Sunday School Class at Pine Bower Baptist Church.

Messages of condolences may be expressed to the family by visiting our website and signing the online guestbook at gammagefh.com. Flowers will be accepted; however, donations can be made to Pine Bower Baptist Church Building Fund or Cemetery Fund.

The Olin L. Gammage and Sons Funeral Home is handling the arrangements for Mr. Fay Garmon.

Elijah flew for the funeral Friday morning.  That Sunday he was supposed to sing a duet with Gillian, A Child's Prayer.  By Thursday, we knew he was leaving so Gillian and I tried to find another song that she could sing on her own without too many rehearsals.  She practiced once with her voice teacher on Thursday, and then on Saturday she had one more rehearsal at the chapel with the microphone.  It was already stressful to change a song two days before the performance, but what made it worse was the fact that Gillian got a sore throat on Friday.  I fed her that day only lemon juice and honey.  We were determined to keep our commitment!  On Sunday, Gillian brought tears to ours as she sang If the Savior Stood Beside Me.  I know Grandpa was listening.  He loved the Lord and always wanted to do the right thing.  As Gillian sang that song, and as tears came down my cheeks, I felt happy that although we couldn't be at Grandpa's funeral, he was there listening anyways.  Here is Gillian, her throat still hurting, rehearsing the song on Saturday morning while the funeral was taking place: