Gezuar festen e nenes!

I started this day a bit earlier than usual. Last night, I did some blogging, wrote some emails, read some on-line articles, and then I sat down to read just a bit before I went to bed. I was reading this very philosophical book that isn't very entertaining, but it does make you think and it offers so many interesting ideas. Every chapter seems like a philosophical essay. Don't ask me why I was reading this book till the early hours of the morning, because it isn't one of those books that can be appreciated when you are tired. Nevertheless I kept reading and was astonished at the author's talent of writing such complicated thoughts, but in the end sleep won and I had to close it and get ready for bed. As I was heading toward my room, I hear loud talking from my mom's room, so I go and investigate. My mother was talking on Skype with my brother, who himself had stayed very late the night before and then had slept till late. That's how he happened to be home when my mother called him at 2:30 in the morning here (11:30 a.m. in Stockholm). When I said "hi" to them at this early hour of the morning, we all laughed at how similar we each are, especially with this bad habit of staying up late. It was then that my brother wished us both "Happy March 8th." All over Europe this is a date that we celebrate women and women's rights, talents and contribution to the society. In my country, we focus more on our mothers, so you could say this is my country's equivalent of Mother's Day. After talking to my brother for a little bit, I hurried downstairs to catch some much needed sleep.

James had been invited to a birthday party today in Danville. Elijah's boss/friend's daughter turned five, and James was very excited to attend and celebrate with her. I was too, since I was going to see my husband there before he went to the temple till late tonight. That thought gave me energy to accomplish what was needed done. I dropped the kids off at school, dropped James off at Pre-K, ran some errands, bought the birthday present, and then picked up James a bit earlier from Pre-K so we could make it to the party. As soon as I entered Danville, I was caught back by the luscious view of the green hills and pastures. Here is a picture of one of those velvety hills:

After the party, I hurried back to pick up the older children. On our way home, I stopped at Safeway and had the children choose a bouquet of flowers for my mother. She is Albanian after all, and we had to celebrate Albanian Mother's Day for her. When Gillian gave her the flowers, she almost choked from joy. It's amazing how little acts of love and service touch others immeasurably.
She was caught off guard when I told her that I was taking her out. She wasn't expecting it, since Elijah doesn't come home after ten on Tuesdays and there wasn't anyone to watch over the kids. Unbeknownst to her, I had asked my church friend and neighbour to watch over my children while we went out. We went shopping first, buying presents for each other (I know it sounds like a silly thing to do, but it is a tradition and since I was celebrating this day alla Albanian, I had to go all the way.) Next, I took her to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and yummy cheesecakes. Although the food wasn't up to her standards, she enjoyed the atmosphere.


When we got back, Sister Paul told me that everything had run smoothly, and that all the children had behaved well and obeyed her. There had been only one incident when Charlton had woken up, but Jefferson had singlehandedly taken care of it by coming downstairs, filling Charlton's bottle, warming it up and then soothing Charlton by talking to him while giving him the bottle. Sister Paul told me that when she had asked Jefferson if he needed any help, Jefferson had politely replied that he had done this many times and he knew how to take care of it. So, ladies, if you ever are in need of a couple of quiet hours, come and babysit for my kids. You'll not even have to move from your chair. It made me laugh imagining Jefferson behaving with such competence.

No reading of any kind tonight! My body is telling my mind that it needs rest.

What do you do for Mother's Day? Do you have any celebrations that are unique to your family?

Happy International Women's Day to all of you strong and wonderful ladies!

A day with my boys

This morning I was awaken by Jefferson telling me he was all dressed and ready for our date. It was around 8:00 in the morning, and that didn't make me very happy. Saturdays are my 'sleep in' days. Nevertheless, seeing how excited Jefferson was, I got up, fed all the children breakfast, and then got ready. Since my mother and Elijah were still asleep, I put Gillian in charge of James and Charlton. Jefferson and I headed toward one of the Farmers' Market near our house. It was drizzling a bit, but that didn't prevent us from checking out every single vendor and their produce. We noticed a vendor selling fresh pastries, and it didn't take long for Jefferson and I to purchase a Napoleon and a Cinnamon bun for ourselves. While eating our pastries, we started with our shopping. Jefferson was quite taken by the five-pound Red Bass we bought. He didn't want to carry it though; he just wanted to look at it. However, he did help me carry most of the produce.
We had a good time talking about foods we like and don't like, kinds of foods that are good for you and the other kinds that are just tasty. We made plans for our own garden we wanted to plant this year and made a list of the produce we wanted to grow. Jefferson is such a serious thinker that I really enjoy talking to him. He is very thoughtful and truly thinks about things. I never have a conversation with him in which he hasn't listened carefully and then thought about his answer. Today, he thanked me for taking him out and said that he really enjoyed being with me. I did too.

When we got home, we put the groceries up, wrapped Oliver's birthday present, and then, along with James, drove to the church to celebrate Oliver's birthday. The kids had so much fun riding their bikes and playing with each other that when it was time to go, my boys couldn't believe that much time had past. Gillian stayed home with dad, and helped him with a few errands.

When we got back, the children were ready to watch their Saturday movie. I put Charlton down for a nap, and then took my mother out for some fresh air. Since it was raining, and we had had lunch already, we decided that instead of going to eat out somewhere, we would go shopping, the next best thing. There is nothing more therapeutic than shopping, especially if you are shopping for yourself. We strolled from one store to another enjoying ourselves and wanting to buy anything and everything we set our eyes on. I kept trying to convince my mother to buy a pair of jeans, but of course she said jeans was not the appropriate attire for an European older lady. I'm glad I feel free of conventions and expectations. We had a good time talking and laughing, and trying on dresses and blouses and boots and all sorts of accessories.

Tonight, after we ate dinner, Elijah took me out to the movies. My mom watched the kids, and my husband and I watched "Unknown." There were a bunch of movies out, but nothing looked good and interesting, and most of them were rated R. The "Unknown" sounded interesting from what we watched in the previews. We weren't disappointed; the movie was good and entertaining. It had a good plot, with twists and turns and kept you guessing throughout. Liam Neeson played the main character, and as always he did a fantastic job. Elijah and I had a good time just being together. On the way home, we decided that we would take turns in choosing our date night activity. Till now, Elijah has been the one planning them with me occasionally suggesting ideas. Wanting to have a variety of activities, we decided we should come up with our own ideas of what we consider fun. So, friends, I need a few tips of good restaurants and fun date activities. It's a blessing to have my mother here take care of the children, so Elijah and I could spend some time with each other. Although Elijah and I spend a lot of good time together at home (we make sure our children are asleep by 8 p.m.), I feel it's equally important to spend time out of the house as a couple. It's a good opportunity to talk, to learn and enjoy each other's interests, and simply to be together in a relaxing and fun atmosphere.

What are some fun activities you do with your children? What has been your favorite idea for a date with your spouse?

Happy Birthday, Mother!

My mother turned 62 today. Birthdays are big deal in Albania. My mother and I love to celebrate birthdays, and desire that our birthdays are celebrated with a big boom. Elijah volunteers as a temple worker at the temple on Tuesdays, so we began mom's birthday celebration yesterday. We took the whole family to a steakhouse downtown Walnut Creek called Fleming's. We had not been there before, but had wanted to try it out so we decided that was the place. As soon as we entered it, we were impressed with its atmosphere, nice service and table settings. This last one was very important as my mother will not sit and eat in a restaurant where the tables aren't covered with table cloths. We have no idea where this particularity comes from since my mother grew up mostly in boarding schools. We can only infer that she is factitious by nature. She used to make me iron every single pillow case, sheets, napkins, table cloths, and even underwear. Weird, but neat.

Anyways, she loved the restaurant as soon as we sat down. It was funny when we tried to look through the menu. We kept turning page after page to find the food selection. The three fourth of the menu consisted of wine selections, and only the last pages had information on the food. But whatever food they offered, it was cooked in perfection. I would highly recommend it. It is a bit pricey, but absolutely worth it. It is best to just go as a couple and not accompanied by kids. Our older children did fine, but Charlton kept wanting to try every body's food and as such would cause a bit of discomfort for the rest of us.
After enjoying this delicious meal, we stopped for ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery in Pleasant Hill. Charlton wanted his own ice cream and didn't want to share with anybody. That boy knows how to eat. When we arrived home, the children lined up with presents in hand and took turns giving their grandmother presents they had helped select with a bit of guidance by mom. Gillian gave her a pretty necklace; Jefferson had chosen some perfume; James had chosen to buy her and himself a pair of sun glasses. As for Charlton and me, we gave her a pretty gray sweater she could match with Gillian's necklace. Elijah had bought her specific candy from Trader Joe's that had peanut butter filling, since my mother loves peanut butter. I think Lili was very happy.
Today, we bought her an Ice cream cake. Lili loves ice cream, so it made sense to buy her an ice cream cake. I wasn't mistaken; she loved it. We sang "Happy Birthday" to her and shared our love for her with hugs and kisses. The birthday celebration was a hit, and my mother really enjoyed herself.

First Impressions

Thursdays I have a lot going on. Starting with school drop offs, continuing with volunteering, grocery shopping, personal time with James, homework, piano, game night with kids, life is busy. Fortunately, mom helped with laundry and dinner. I was busy, but I wasn't rushed.

So, I thought for Friday, we should take the day off and tour San Francisco. My mother loves bridges and so for her just driving on the Bay Bridge and observing the Golden Gate Bridge from a distance was enough. The smell of the ocean and the sunny weather of California reminded her of home. We walked through memory lane and reminisced our past experiences. Tasting Ghirardelli's ice cream added to the enjoyment of the day.

After parking, we strolled along Pier 39 window shopping and occasionally buying souvenirs. My mom is an ardent fan of movies, and when she saw a clear and gorgeous view of the Alcatraz she started telling me all about the movies she had watched about Alcatraz. To tell the truth I had never met anyone who was so enthusiastic about a jail. It was really funny, especially when later on she told my brother on Skype about Alcatraz, and he jokingly said to me that when we get to go inside maybe I'll forget mom by mistake. And since she likes it so much she wouldn't mind spending a night over there. We said 'good-bye' to Alcatraz, said 'hello' to the sea lions, and then headed off toward Fisherman's Wharf.

At Fisherman's Wharf, we stopped at the Musee Mechanique, checked out the submarine, smelled the crabs cooking, and looked for a place to eat.

The ocean was calling us, so we sat down by the shore and had some lunch. Charlton really enjoyed eating fries and chasing birds. James kept asking us when we were going to Ghirardelli's. While seating by the beach, mom got jealous when she saw a few people swimming in the ocean. One lady was also sun bathing in the park. Mom decided she would bring her swim suit with her next time. I told her she would have to do the sun bathing on her own.
While enjoying some really tasty ice cream, and a lot of it, we realized we were cutting it close with the older children's time for pick up. As I was trying to call friends to pick them up so they wouldn't be waiting there for us, I missed my street and kept going in the wrong direction. How is it that when I have the least time I always get lost. I was so upset for missing the correct street that as I was fuming at myself I missed another turn. This was getting ridiculous. I realized that I should forget about being upset and concentrate on the task at hand.

Everything worked out in the end. However, experiences like this, and I have a lot of them, make me think. How come some people are always on time and others no matter how hard they try they seem to not be able to? What makes people like me think that we can conquer the world in three hours? What is in our DNA or nurtured personalities that make some of us have no sense of time?

Mother dear!

The house is spic and span, the guest room has flowers and smells fresh, the snacks are in the cooler, I look pretty, the children all look neat, the car has gas. Reading my check list you would think I'm expecting an ambassador for a guest, instead of just my mother. Then again my mother is a very special person to me. I know she will not judge me if the dishes are not done, or the house is not vacuumed, or the children's noses are not clean, but for some unknown reason I want to impress my mother with my personal achievements, and of course at this stage of my life those achievements include my family and home.

Although I'm a grown woman now, I find myself at times feeling like a little girl trying to impress her parents. I don't feel there is anything wrong with it. I have a good relationship with my mother, better than I have ever had it before, and she treats me as her equal and I treat her with respect and love. We are good friends. When I find myself trying to draw my mother's attention to the good things I'm accomplishing, I smile at myself, understanding that it's okay to feel like a little girl sometimes. It's one way, I feel, I'm showing my mother that all of her hard work and efforts to raise me become the best I could be weren't in vain. It's a silent invitation to my mother to be proud of me.

I saw that kind of pride and love in my mother's eyes today at the airport when she saw me and my four beautiful children welcome her. For the next four months that she is going to spend with us, she will often see my house a mess, my dishes all over the counter, my children's clothes disheveled, and me laying down and reading for hours, but the memory that will stay with her will be that scene at the airport with me and my four treasures greeting her with love.

Welcome home, mother!

Do you ever feel you are trying to impress your parents? I strongly believe that this happens not because of lack of self confidence, but because of our desire to make our parents happy and proud of us, regardless of our age. I also find it more often in smaller families where the bonds between parents and children are stronger. Do you think I'm wrong? What kind of relationship do you have with your parents? How would you like it to be?

God could not be everywhere, and so he gave us mothers - Jewish Proverb

I started celebrating Mother's Day yesterday. Some friends and I went out for a fun outing. First, we ate some lunch, and then cruised the streets of downtown Walnut Creek. The Walnut Creek Downtown Business Association in collaboration with Walnut Creek Chamber of Commerce had organized an event that they called Flower Stroll to celebrate Mother's Day. We visited all of the stores that participated in this event, and while we were able to see what they had to offer, we would receive a flower from each of them. An the end of the event, we had a beautiful bouquet, and had enjoyed a beautiful walk with friends while at the same time looked at the stores without the pressure of buying anything. I shared some of my flowers with Gillian, but my bouquet still looks pretty.

While visiting these stores, I happen to see this sign and I felt inclined to take a picture of it. I just thought it was so perfect for some of us.

While I was gone with my friends, Elijah and the children went out shopping for mom's presents. Every Mother's Day and birthday, Elijah takes the children to get presents for mom. When they come home their eyes sparkle with excitement and they can't wait for me to open them. This is my favorite part of the whole celebration. I just love seeing them so happy and eager to please me. Yesterday was no exception. Even though James wasn't feeling well last night, he kept telling me how excited he was for Mother's Day. After they went to bed, Elijah and I watched a movie, An Education, which I liked very much. I don't think Elijah was very keen about it, but, nevertheless, he stayed and watched it with me. That put us to bed kind of late, and when this morning the children woke up early to have their dad help them cook breakfast for mom, I felt bad forElijah. I had no doubt he was exhausted. So, Elijah, I really appreciate you watching the movie with me and taking care of the children this morning while I rested. After breakfast, the children couldn't wait for me to open their presents. I was very grateful for their thoughtfulness and love. Charlton's gift came later, when after church, while the older kids were watching church movies and Elijah was calling his mother, he took a four hour nap, which enabled me to rest as well. Best gift ever, everybody!



I'm grateful for the blessing of motherhood. When I was young, I didn't give it much thought. Marriage and motherhood were things that I knew would happen one day, but were not subjects I contemplated much. And then, I met Elijah. One time, during the time we were getting serious about our relationship, we happened to be in the temple at the celestial room. He looked at me for a moment and said "I know you are going to be a great mother." I hadn't thought much about children actually, and if I hadn't been in the temple, I'm sure I would have been terrified of thinking of children so quickly, especially for me. But I was in the temple, and I felt the spirit strongly there. I knew then that it would be a blessing to be a mother, and that if I ever were one, I would do my best to be a great one. I've tried to keep that goal in mind as I raise my children. Motherhood hasn't come easily to me. I often struggled with the idea of staying home and just reading nursery rhymes and playing play dough with my little kids. It just wasn't me. So, I came up with the idea of doing things with my children that I like and I am good at. Elijah supplemented the part that I didn't feel like doing. Amongst all of the things that Elijah and I have strived to help our children learn and do, the greatest achievement for both of us is having instilled in them a desire to choose the right and a thirst for the word of God. I will never forget the scenes of Gillian, then 6, reading the scripture stories to my boys, while I laid down to rest after teaching seminary and feeling sick from my pregnancy. The scene of them sitting in a chair with Gillian in the middle reading God's words, without being asked, will forever stay in my mind, and will always make me want to be a better mother. It is moments like these that make motherhood all worth it to me.

I also want to thank my mother for being an amazing mother to me. I'm grateful for the many things she helped me achieve, but above all for her faith in me. Thank you, mother, for always telling me to aim for the sky. I want to thank my mother-in-law as well. I'm so grateful she raised a son like Elijah, who is faithful, righteous and full of integrity. Thank you, mama, for your example of humility, kindness and charity toward all.
What a great heritage my children have!

What a woman wants

For the past three nights now I've asked the same question to my children for their one on one time with me. Initially, I was out of questions and tired and went for the easy question of "What was your favorite thing you did today," but then, after hearing their answer the first night, I went ahead and asked it again the next two nights just to see what they would say. The answer was the same every night and with very little variations from all three. The answer was "my time I spent with you (reading, talking, cooking, etc)." Because I thought they were saying it just to make me happy, I would remind them of the fun things they had done that day. So I would say "I thought you loved watching movies, or playing with your brothers and sister, or watching Star Trek with dad, or doing experiments, or going to the museum, (or whatever else I thought they really liked to do.) Nevertheless, their answer would be the same "Yes, mother, I loved doing those things. They were so fun, but I really, really enjoy snuggling in the couch and reading with you(James)," or "Oh, yes, those experiments were so much fun, but I love cooking or playing chess with you. That's my favorite (Jefferson)," or "I love being with you in the car and talking to you, just you and me, without those pesty boys interrupting us. Right now also is my favorite time. I love your hugs, and that you stay longer with me than with the boys." At this point, I hear Jefferson from the other room saying "That's not fair! You stay with Gillian longer." So, I give Gillian a good bye hug; she won't let me go; she is convinced to let go of me when I tell her she can read for few more minutes; I go to give Jefferson another kiss so he won't be mad at me; I hear Elijah reminding me it's past bedtime for the children and time for their mom to be with her husband; I'm finally coming down the stairs all happy and warm inside grateful for the wonderful relationship I have with my kids. I don't have to ask Elijah what his favorite thing was today, because he hasn't had his yet; he's longing to spent some time with his wife. I know that's his favorite thing, because he tells me that every night, too.