The Weekly News

Last week, my kids received a package full of books and books-on-tape from my mother-in-law. She sends them little gifts and reminders of her love almost every month. My children love their grandmother, and I'm grateful that they look forward to her special gifts instead of just expect them as part of the relationship. They love to send her and their grandfather letters and pictures that they draw to show love and gratitude.

I'm also very grateful for my mother-in-law, for her kindness, her example of service, and her sweet and meek nature. I grew up with a very different kind of a mother, more assertive and full of visions for life, and I'm forever grateful for her and the life she gave me. Although very different in many ways, in one aspect my mother and my mother-in-law are the same: in having an awareness for others and a desire to serve. Growing up with a mother whose service to others each day was a natural part of life, helps me understand what Jesus said in Matthew 25:

34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

My mother-in-law has the same godly virtue of serving others continuously. I'm grateful I have two mothers whose example of love and kindness toward others enriches mine.

Along with other things in the package, my mother-in-law sent us some corn meal freshly ground and made out of their own corn. Corn bread is a big thing in the South, and surprisingly enough back home as well. My kids fight over who will eat the last piece each time, and each time I promise them I will make more the next day. So as soon as we got the package, I made them some cornbread to accompany dinner. Here is the recipe just in case you would like to introduce this to your family:

Mama Lu's Favorite Cornbread
1 1/2 Cups Sifted Cornmeal
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
2 1/2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1 Egg
2 Tablespoons Corn Oil
1 1/4 Cup Buttermilk

Combine dry ingredients. Mix egg, oil, and buttermilk. Combine with dry ingredients. Place in 8'' greased skillet. Bake at 400* for 20 minutes. Slice and butter them up to deliciousness. Enjoy!

On Thursday, I attended a book club in which I presented the book for the month. We had read and then discussed Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. It's an amazing book in which the author relates stories from his childhood during the 50's, the age of excitement and big dreams, as he describes it. This was truly an exciting time for America with its economy booming, and its people daring to dream big and achieving those dreams. This was a time when technology started to take off, when TV was big, when cars shaped the American freedom, when the old and the new were merging beautifully together. As I read the book the same questions came coming back: What is my generation's dream? What can we call our age? What about our children, what will be the thread that connects their generation? I'm mostly a very optimistic person, and I sincerely believe in this country as the superpower that can do much good our there in the world, but sometimes when I see events such as the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals overthrowing the ban on gay marriage in California, putting the decision of two judges above that of thousands of free Americans who voted against it, or some crazy left wing scientist passionately calling government to treat sugar the same way we treat alcohol, I feel like I'm living in an age of extremism. Don't take me wrong. Growing up in communism where there was only one way of seeing things taught me that extreme opinions on both sides of the spectrum serve a very important purpose. They stand as a reminder that there are other points of view. Nevertheless, I don't believe that the minorities or ultra-opinions should rule the majority, and I think that's what happening in America nowadays. Not only we are not standing up for what we believe, but we are not even meeting in the middle. We are letting the special groups push us like mindless herds to where they want us to be. I don't have any answers or solutions, but I have convictions and the only thing for me to do is to stand by them and teach them to my kids.

I had no intention for this post to be political, and by no means too thought provoking, by there you have it folks. And now back to entertainment news. On Friday, a few friends of mine and I went out for dinner and then attended a fun and hilarious production of the Broadway show Legally Blonde. We truly had a lot of fun and I was thankful that Elijah was taking care of the children. Charlton hadn't been feeling very well that day, and he did throw up in the car just as I was parking at a nearby store to buy something fun and new to wear that night. You know you're a good mother when you aren't bothered that you didn't get to shop because you are too worried about your child. I know most of you think that's just intuitive, but if you knew how much I love to shop and how I had carved that one hour out of the week for that specific purpose, you would probably forgive my vanity. After giving him a bath as soon as we got back, Charlton seemed to be feeling much better. However, when I came back from my show, Elijah told me that he had thrown up again, but not to worry since he took care of everything. My sweet husband and my poor little Charlton. The show itself was so fun to attend and very true to the movie. My favorite duet was the one between the foxy hairdresser and the muscly mailman with shorts. Truth be told I couldn't stop myself from giggling today at the dentist office when a mailman with shorts and full of muscles came in. I pretended I was reading a funny part in my book. Here is a picture of my foxy friends, but sorry, no muscular mailmen. We left them at home.


Saturday was spent sleeping in, doing laundry, washing cars, getting beaten by Jefferson in UNO, and playing 'hide and seek.' Charlton seemed to be feeling better, and loved playing with his siblings. Here are a couple of places that Charlton found all on his own as perfect hiding places:
In the evening, Elijah and I, exhausted from having had a full day with our kids and plenty of chores to get through, sat down and watched Moneyball, a film that told the story of Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland A's who wanted to revolutionize the way baseball was played. I liked the acting, but the directing was a bit slow for me, with slow-paced action and very subdued dialog. However, it was the end of the movie that touched me and made me think. Billy Beane was offered a ridiculous amount of money by the Boston Red Sox to join their ranks as the general manager there and experiment with his ideas into making the Red Sox a winning team. This was the chance of a lifetime, and something that Billy had dreamed to achieve. But leaving the Oakland A's meant he would leave his daughter behind (Billy and his wife had divorced, and the daughter lived with the mom sharing the time between mom and dad.) In the end Billy decides to put his daughter first. Sacrifices are always black and white, even when there are so many shades of gray in life.

Charlton threw up again the night before so we decided to keep him home from church. Elijah stayed home, and I took the older kids with me. After Sacrament, I had to get back home, so Elijah could teach the Elder's Quorum, since the teacher had gotten sick that day. That night, tired from feeding, reading and taking care of sick children, I sat down and watched another musical that I have been meaning to see for a while, Mamma Mia. With the exception of Pierce Brosnan's inability to sing, and the somewhat schoolboy appearance of Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard, the movie was a hoot. I couldn't stop laughing and singing along with all the ABBA songs and the character interaction. Meryl Streep was undeniably fabulous. I didn't know she could sing so well. That woman can do anything! She could even do splits in mid-air. Her flexible shape at 60 years of age puts me to shame. Back to the treadmill for me. It might not do anything about my singing abilities, but I can sure do something about those mid-air splits.

The next morning, being a holiday, I slept in, and then started my day by putting on some ABBA to speed things up. The problem was that because those songs make you want to dance the whole time, I didn't get anything done. Except for a sweet compliment from my husband who said that truly there was no need for him to accompany me to see the musical live. He already had the concert and the best moves in his own living room. Too bad he didn't record me so you could be convinced, but maybe your imagination will convince you better than my dance moves. After my performance, my children following in my footsteps, started a dance of their own, a funny rendition of the song Money, Money, Money. Here is a picture of them dancing and enjoying themselves ( I like their props):

On Monday evening, Elijah went out with a few friends from work, and I got the kids to bed early. I started an interesting historical fiction volume about one of my favorite authors, Frances Scott Fitzgerald. I sat on that chair till I finished the book in the early hours of the morning. I really enjoyed the story of Fitzgerald's first love, and how that relationship affected him for the rest of his life. He was nineteen, fresh from Princeton, but with very poor family connections. Ginevra was sixteen, rich, vain, spoiled, selfish, and gorgeous. They fall in love, and write to each other for about two years, seeing each other a few times in between. And then Ginevra gets bored and throws him out. In five years' time Fitzgerald writes his first novel and becomes famous, and Ginevra leads a boring life with her chosen husband of serious occupation. This book had so many layers that even when I finished it I couldn't go to sleep right away. There were so many thoughts to organize and give names. The most obvious feeling was that of recognizing how our words and actions effect others throughout their lives. The relationship between Scott and Ginevra was one that effected them both till they died. What they said and how they acted toward each other would haunt them continously; him as expressed in his novels, and her in her examination of her life. To this day, I feel a sense of shame and regret for something thoughtless I said to one of my students some years ago. It is his reaction and the disappointment I saw in his eyes that has haunted me for years. It was then that I realized how much we can influence each other, by words and action. I did apologize to him, but I always wonder which one will he remember the most: my insult or my apology. Knowing that sometimes my mouth speaks faster than my mind, I have no doubt that I have hurt others as well. However, I always pray that what I say and do would uplift others and help them find joy, and I try to be guided by that simple mantra each day.

And with that little word of wisdom, I'll close my session of ramblings for tonight. All is well.

What has captured your interest this week?

Politics:

I’ve been following the Republican presidential primaries carefully. I’ve found it very interesting how many reporters have capitalized on the fact that Romney and Huntsman are Mormon, but very few have mentioned how different they are, not only in political views, but in the way they represent the Mormon church. It should at least show that we are a religion with diverse people. Just an observation.

I’ve been shocked at the recent results of South Carolina primary votes which show Newt Gingrich ahead of Romney. I’m not even a staunch supporter of Romney, but even so I would vote for him verses Gingrich. I know Newt is a very straightforward talker and has a knack for debating, nevertheless I would always choose the candidate with a strong character and moral values. Well, there is still a long way to go till the Republican Party chooses their candidate; the winner needs at least 1144 delegates to be chosen. As of now combined they have 62.

A couple of weeks ago I read about Obama denying the permit to build a pipeline that would move crude oil from Canada to Texas. I learned that this kind of undertaking would create thousands of jobs in our country as well as help with the energy crisis. Instead of helping this country become self-sufficient and improve the employment rate, which would make Obama look good for reelection by the way, the president followed the ridiculous advice of the environmentalists. Why is the advice ridiculous you might ask? Well, if you think about it, the Canadians are determined to sell their oil no matter what. If the environmentalists were concerned about the climate change or the water contamination in the Midwest, I would direct their attention to what the Canadians are determined to do. I just read the other day that the Canadians are trying to make a deal in Asia to send the oil through the Pacific. Imagine the consequences if the pipe leaks, (of which the environmentalists are so concerned about,) and the damage it can cause in the Pacific, way more drastic than in the Midwest I should say. I’m just trying to understand the decision of President Obama and his interest groups, that’s all.

Speaking of oil leaks, I just read how the Italian authorities are trying to preserve the Tuscan waters from oil spills out of the Costa Concordia. It is estimated that there are at least a half-million gallons to be removed from the enormous half-sunk cruise ship. At the end of the day, however, I feel more saddened about the death of those 16 individuals and a few more who have been missing than the water pollution. Of course accidents happen, and we can do more about the fish than the deceased at the moment, nevertheless it’s so sad and tragic for those who lost their dear ones. I feel also sad for the Captain of the ship who has been arrested and charged with manslaughter. Accidents of such grand scale may start with a little tiny mistake or an accumulation of various little problems, and it wouldn’t be only one person’s fault. Nevertheless, he was the captain and he should have stayed on board taking care of everyone else. Amidst its tragedy, it is still a miracle that 4200 passengers and crew were rescued to safety.

Religion:

According to the annual poll administered by Americans by Gallup, President Thomas S. Monson was chosen as one of the 10 “Most Admired Men.” Not that it makes any difference to my respect and love for our prophet, but it is a sign that either our church is growing and we are a mighty voting force, or that our church’s recognition is spreading out. Either way, they are both positive factors into helping our brothers and sisters come unto Christ.

I taught Relief Society this Sunday. I truly enjoy teaching for many reasons, but especially because, like many other teachers, I learn more as I study as well as from the responses of the sisters in Relief Society. This Sunday we were discussing the conference talk by Elder Richard G. Scott titled The Power of Scripture. When I asked the sisters what kind of power did the scriptures have in their lives, I enjoyed many thoughtful answers, but one particular sister (the same one who shared insightful comments in her Sunday School lesson about the Tree of Life that helped me receive my own personal revelation,) said that the scriptures not only teach her to believe but help her to act, which is what the gospel is all about. When you have responses like that you feel that you should leave it at that. In few words, Jacki shared the essence of the talk: read the scriptures and they will guide and help you live the gospel. My favorite quote from the talk related to the most special gift we as members have: personal revelation. Elder Scott says in his talk: “Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high.”

On Sunday, January 22, the church commemorated the 100 year anniversary of the beginning of the seminary and institute programs. Having taught seminary, I know how powerful that one early hour in the morning can be for our youth. My brother just moved to Albania to be a CES coordinator for that area, and besides being a bit jealous, I’m very happy and proud of him. There is nothing more beautiful than teaching the gospel to others, especially to our young people, who are the leaders of the future. President Boyd K. Packer was invited to speak to the youth of the church emphasizing the importance of seminary, and Elder L. Tom Perry joined him as well with some excellent remarks. Once again I was reminded that to teach it to others, we need to read and learn our scriptures ourselves. Elder Perry also pointed out that if we put our spiritual matters first, the secular ones will be taken care of: “Learning about sacred things should come first, providing a context and a need for secular learning. If we want to return to our Heavenly Father’s presence, our first priority should be to learn about his ways and his plan. The world might fool you into believing there is insufficient time to engage in both spiritual and secular learning. I want to warn you not to be deceived by these philosophies of men. Your learning about sacred things will facilitate, even accelerate, your secular learning.”

Entertainment:

Downton Abbey was nominated for four Golden Globe awards, and was able to win two, one of which was for best miniseries on television. I was very happy that a clean and well written show was recognized and appreciated. What took me by surprise was the fact that they had nominated Elizabeth McGovern who plays Cora, Countess of Grantham and not my two favorite actresses Maggie Smith who plays the Dowager Countess of Grantham and Michelle Dockery who plays Lady Mary Crawly. Elizabeth is a good actress, but her character is so flat you can hardly do anything with it. And Lady Mary is a much more diverse character that grows in every episode. Michelle Dockery does an exceptional job of playing such a character. And as for Maggie Smith, I would rather watch her many times over than Comedy Central itself.

I’m reading this interesting book about how to find happiness called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and in it the author is documenting a year of her life in fulfilling all the resolutions she has set each month in order for her to achieve a more fulfilling kind of happiness. I think of myself as a very happy and kind person in general, but when I tried to work on one of her goals (to be extremely nice all day every day for a week), I failed miserably. I came to the conclusion that I need to work on patience; I don’t have much of it, especially when it comes to my family. One of the most important parts of the book is when she talks about knowing who we really are and what we really want, and then accepting that self with its strengths and limitations. She says: “You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.”

I took my older boys to the San Francisco Symphony the other day. I had arranged it for both of their classes to attend. Every year the San Francisco Symphony gives an one-hour program for the young audiences introducing various pieces of classical music to them. The program was just perfect for my boys and they asked to come back again. Jefferson’s favorite piece was the Gallop from Offenbach’s Orpheus in the Underworld, which is the predecessor of the music used in the French dance known as the Can-Can.

Family:

The kids are enjoying their art classes. Jefferson and James are in the same class learning how to draw, and Gillian is in a separate class learning more about the usage of color. Here are this week’s projects:

James's cats

Jefferson's soldier cats

Gillian's Primary Colors

Gillian also enjoyed taking a sewing class with her activity day group. They cut and sewed their own pyjamas. Gillian was very excited to have done something productive with her sewing skills:

Charlton hasn’t been feeling well all weekend. He had high fever, chest congestion, and labored breathing. I was so worried about him. The doctor gave him some medicine, and I’ve tried to keep him inside. Hopefully he will feel better soon. I need his beautiful smile back.

Personal:

I have been thinking a lot about the balance between family time and helping our children develop their talents. Jefferson and James have been wanting to play in little league baseball for quite some time. When one of my friends sent an email telling us about this particular baseball arrangement, I immediately wanted to sign them up. Then, the more I thought of the fact that I would need to take them to practice twice a week and a game on Saturday, the more I realized our family time would be out of the window if I made that choice. We are blessed to have Elijah arrive from work each day at 4 p.m., and the kids and I love being together with him. I know we might not have this great schedule always, but for now I want to spend every minute of it as a family. We read together, play together, and spend time just being around each other. Sure, I could use Elijah as a second driver and we can all go in different directions and in different classes, but WHY? I guess because we want our kids to love sports and develop a love for exercise, and develop their talents as much as possible. However, I know that the love and the attention they are receiving now is worth way more than any fun they would get playing sports at a young age. Right now they each have two extracurricular activities, and I think that’s plenty for the moment. What do you do to find that balance?

What have you been interested in this week?

Reflections

On Saturday, I attended Joshua's sealing to Amy and Ben, and their family. What a miracle to have the sealing power on earth and see it bless the lives of endless families. There are four children in the Wiederhold family, and three of them are adopted. Each of them have different skin color and come from different backgrounds, but when you see this family, the Spirit of Elijah takes you beyond skin color and culture boundaries. What I see when I see them is this eternal family that have been bonded through love and eternal sealing of God. As I was capturing their joy in pictures afterward, I couldn't stop my heart from rejoicing at this eternal bond very visible to my natural eye. At those moments. I didn't see angels, but I did see love surrounding this family. I'm grateful for those tender mercies of the Lord when He allows us to actually see a bit of eternal life.

On Sunday, the Lord showed me another one of his tender mercies. It had to do with the scriptures. We have read the scriptures as a family almost every day this past year. Initially, we started doing it because it is a commandment and we knew it would bless our lives. Later, it became a habit; we couldn't understand ending our night without reading them. Toward the end of the year, our children looked forward to reading them. We felt blessings of harmony and love come into our family just because of that 20 minute scripture reading. One not-so-good factor came out of it as well. I thought that reading to my children fulfilled my own reading time also. My natural self allowed that excuse to prevent me from receiving blessings from my own personal reading. I kept pushing that nagging feeling aside. I thought I had read the Book of Mormon many times, and I would get bored reading it over again, especially after reading it to my children each night.

And then, as I sat in Sunday School comfortably nestled near my husband, ready to enjoy another Sunday School lesson, but not really expecting to learn anything major, Heavenly Father humbles me in a very merciful way. I learned several insights from the scriptures that day that I had never thought before, or if I had I had forgotten. Furthermore, my heart was touched by Heavenly Father's patience and love for me. As a bonus,the insights I learned were directly connected to strengthening my testimony of reading the scriptures continually. I'm humbly grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord, and the wisdom we find in the scriptures.

Here is one of the insights I learned that day:

We were reading from 1 Nephi 8, and discussing the Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life. We learned in that chapter of the different kinds of groups that participate in the story. Two such groups were of interest to me. The first one's description is found in verses 24 and 25;

24 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, ^aclinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the ^bfruit of the tree.

25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ^aashamed.

The other group is described in verse 30:

30 But, to be short in writing, behold, he saw other multitudes pressing forward; and they came and caught hold of the end of the ^arod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree.


One of the class members made the point that the different outcome between these two groups lies in two words. The first clings to the rod, and the second holds fast. And then our instructor illustrated it in a very visual way, which worked great for me. She said that recently she has been helping her daughter become proficient with the monkey bars. Her daughter really wants to be good at it. The instructor said that because she doesn't have sufficient strength to hold fast to the monkey bars, she just "clings"to them just so she can get to the end as fast as she could. Sufficient strength was the key to my quest. If I don't read the scriptures, I won't have the kind of strength that is needed to hold fast to the rod. I'm grateful for the scriptures, but especially for God's tender mercies that allow us to grow.



On Monday, we remembered Martin Luther King Jr. and his powerful influence on the Civil Rights movement. As I reread his "I have a dream"speech, I was grateful for his amazing foresight and unbending courage to stand up for what he believed at a time that doing so would put him to danger, as it ultimately did. I admire people that know who they are and what they believe in and are not afraid to stand tall against the world. I've met very few people with such integrity and fortitude, my husband being one of them.

As I went through Dr. King's words, I kept thinking about the world today. Have we become a better society? Is there more love and equality? Are we more accepting of each other's differences? Of course it is hard to answer these broad questions with definite answers. I initially felt the answers would all be no, but as I pondered those questions further, I felt that many things have changed in our world today, some for better and some for worse. And many things have yet to make a difference. However, whether in Dr. King's time or ours, it all has to start with the individual, with us, with me.

I received a priesthood blessing tonight from my husband concerning some personal goals, in achieving of which I was in need of the Lord's help. In the end of the blessing, the Lord advised me to: "Be humble, be grateful, and be guided by the Spirit." What amazing counsel that is! If each of us were to follow that simple advice, Dr. King's dream would truly come true. I will do my part. I know it will make a difference in my life, my children's life, and by serving others as guided by the Spirit, it will make a difference in my neighbor's life as well.

I'm reading a book about how to achieve happiness (The Happiness Project.) I'm really enjoying it. In it, the author quotes Aristotle saying: "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence." And so it is. There are so many ways to achieve happiness, as this book that I'm reading is clearly demonstrating, and as our own life experiences have shown. But I couldn't help but think that the happiness that Martin Luther King Jr. had in mind in his dream had everything to do with loving our neighbor as we love God.

This year in Relief Society we are studying the words of President George Albert Smith. As soon as I started reading about his life and the principles he lived by, I felt this absolute love and admiration for him as well as a personal connection. His life of service, love and kindness is one that I saw my parents live, and one that I strive to live myself and pass it on to my children. President Smith's words are full of honesty and penetrate deep into my heart. I wish there were more people like him. This is what he has to say to all of us:

"Our ministry is one of love. Our service is one which enriches our lives. … If we are living as God intends that we should live, if we are ministering as he desires that we should minister, every day of our lives is enriched by the influence of his Spirit, our love of our fellowmen increases and our souls are enlarged until we feel that we could take into our arms all of God’s children, with a desire to bless them and bring them to an understanding of the truth.⁹"

And then as if to an answer to our quest for happiness and a fulfillment of Martin Luther King Jr.'s plea for equality and kindness toward each other, President Smith simply says this:

"Do not forget no matter how much you may give in money, no matter how you may desire the things of this world to make yourselves happy, your happiness will be in proportion to your charity and to your kindness and to your love of those with whom you associate here on earth.

It isn’t only what we receive that makes us happy; it is what we give, and the more we give of that which is uplifting and enriching to our Father’s children, the more we have to give. It grows like a great fountain of life and bubbles up to eternal happiness.^17"

In his speech Dr King, amongst his very powerful words about his dream, shares one sentence that captured my attention. It is short, but it speaks volumes. He says: "We cannot walk alone." How true those simple words are. I am my brother's keeper!

Thinking while driving

I was so excited this morning for having dropped the older kids right on time with a few minutes to spare. We are always in a rush and we make it to school either right on the minute or usually a few minutes late. As I was driving home from their school, I was thinking that maybe today I will be on time dropping James and Zoe off at their Pre-K. You see, as soon as I get home from dropping the older kids to school, I have to take care of Charlton (change diaper, outfits, and give him food), make breakfast for James, get ready myself (take a shower, put my make-up on, get ready for the day), and then pick up Zoe, after which I have to drive 10-20 to their Pre-K. For all of this I have only 45 minutes. I'm always late dropping them off. I always feel guilty when I'm late. The fact that I'm late makes me very stressed, and I feel rushed all day. I honestly don't feel good at all when I arrive late. I wish that I was one of those personalities that can estimate their time well and are always on time. Either that, or I wish I never felt guilty or stressed, and accept being late as a fact of life. Not me. I know I'll try being on time all my life, and I will never be on time and I will always stress and obsess about it, and then I'll die one day because of too much stress.

Anyways, this morning I was looking forward to being the first dropping the kids off at Pre-K. I did all the usual things, and then I got in the shower. I have a clock that I keep in the bathroom. That clock helps me measure the time I spend in the bathroom getting ready. I made a mental note of the time before getting in the shower, and then proceed to take a nice and long one. When I get out and enter my room, I notice my bedroom clock didn't match with that of the bathroom. I was way late. I freaked out. Charlton must have messed up my bathroom clock while playing with it this morning. So, here I was all set on being on time, and something like that happens. I know the Lord has said that he will make weak things strong, and I believe this otherwise I wouldn't even try being better on my time issue. However, I'm just glad there will be no time in heaven.

I took my car to rotate its tires today at Sam's. We purchased the tires from there some time ago, and their policy states that because of that we get the rotations always for free. So, I dropped the car off at the tire center, and then took Charlton and did some shopping meanwhile. Do you have the weakness I sport every time I visit Sam's or Costco, which is that regardless of having a list with me, I will succeed its limits and get stuff that weren't even in my mind let alone in my list? Today, I was determined to just follow the list, but to no avail. I saw something that my kids would use and got, and then I saw the excellent prize of grapes and thought that we always need more fruit. After that, I got some snacks for the children, and the list of purchases went on. I had only a few items on my actual list, but the purchasing list was double that. I thought why does this happen and why can't I find the discipline to follow my own rules. I came up with a few answers. First, I must be weak by nature. Some people are spenders and some are frugals. I'm glad I married someone who knows how to manage money and help me with this weakness. Secondly, my list needs to be more specific. I had a friend in Virginia that had a list for all family departments, such as clothes, school items, food, books, entertainment, household, and a few others. She would keep each list on the fridge, and when she went shopping she would take the master list with her. She knew exactly what she needed for that week, and never went over her budget. My list consists of food items and household; the rest is being reminded as I pass the isles by. Thirdly, buying things for me or for others is like therapy, and don't ask me why I need therapy because I don't even know it myself, but it seems buying makes me happy. I had another friend in Virginia that had solved this problem. She would give herself a monthly allowance, not much but enough for her to make a nice purchase for herself that month. She kept at her budget during her weekly shoppings, and then when she felt she wanted to spend something on herself, she would just leave the kids with her husband and shop on her own. I might need to do just that. Elijah suggested I should also pray to overcome this weakness. He promised me that if I did that Heavenly Father will bless me with a tempered hand in spending. Great advice, but the question rises: Do I really want to be cured from this weakness?

After Sam's, I had a few minutes between James' preschool and picking up my mom, so I went to see my friend Janelle to help me jump start on my profile on Mormon.org. I had never been on this site, and it seems easy to actually get your profile done, but I have yet to find time to write something about me. We were reading and watching some of the other profiles and I was touched by the amazing lives that the gospel help us have. With faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and a knowledge of God's love for us, we can truly achieve anything and overcome everything. This site showed some amazing and humble people throughout the world trying to live a life worthy of a disciple of Christ. I'm humbly grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Later, after I had picked up my mom from her English class and my kids from their school, I got ready to go to the dentist. I fed everybody, put Charlton for a short late afternoon nap, and then headed toward my dentist. I hadn't been to the dentist since November 2009; my teeth needed checking and cleaning. As I was driving, I was wondering what had made me procrastinate for so long in making a dentist appointment. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that subconsciously I didn't want to. I had had an unpleasant experience the last time I had been at the dentist. I had had a cleaning and a check-up, and both the hygienist and the dentist hadn't been very gracious in telling me about my teeth. I told Elijah that because they hadn't been Americans, they knew not what bed side manners were, and of course Elijah dismissed it, but I still remain strong in that belief. I like a doctor or dentist that is open and clear about what ails me, but at the same time very gracious and kind in how he presents it. I didn't even have any hard core damage with my teeth then, but these two dentists found whatever I had to be absolutely disastrous. So, you can imagine I wasn't very happy to visit the dentist again. And with good reasons. After 15 years of no cavities, this dentist found 7!!! Imagine that. I don't know if I really have that many cavities or he just wants to make money out of me, but at least he was kind and gracious when he stated the verdict. This hasn't made me very happy. Not only I hate dental work, but I hate paying for it. When I told Elijah that I might end up paying as much for my teeth as I would for a trip to Europe, he just shook his head and said "Let's just take care of our health and then our entertainment." Right, as if that comment could make me feel better. I'm still furious that my teeth have so disappointed me.

Speaking of Elijah, today was his temple volunteering day, and I didn't see him till later tonight after 10 p.m. When I was driving back from the dentist this afternoon, I was really missing him and I wanted to vent my bad news concerning my teeth. As I was thinking of Elijah, this song came up, and although it's not something Elijah would listen to himself, or that represents my love for Elijah, it totally felt like a song that described my feelings at that moment. So, here is to closing this very lengthy and talkative post with some music from Lady Antebellum:

What's up with the bathroom today?

As mothers, we rarely indulge ourselves. However, I do just that every morning when I take my shower. I give my kids books to read, I lock my door, and then I take a long and uninterrupted shower. On occasion, I might have music or scriptures playing in the background, but mostly I just cherish this time to think. It seems that throughout my very long day that starts at seven in the morning and ends regularly after midnight, I rarely find myself alone with my thoughts. Thus, I take advantage of my time I share in the shower. I enjoy thinking about life, pondering about issues, and planning action on solving situations. I feel like I'm a genius coming up with so many ideas and plans. I try so very hard to catalog all those thoughts into corners of my mind so I won't forget them when I'm out of the bathroom. Most of those decisions made while showering have really been helpful in my daily life.

This is the first home in which we don't have a master bathroom. I really dislike this fact. I don't like it that my children use it as well, although they do have their own upstairs. Cleaning the bathroom every week doesn't give me much cheer; keeping it clean throughout the week is what makes me happy. How can you keep a bathroom frequented by kids clean each day? The other day, while Elijah and I were on a date, Charlton had enjoyed powdering the bathroom floor with my rouge, Gillian had spit toothpaste all over the sink, and the boys had overflown the toilet with too much paper. Today, I had them clean it, and although they did a good job, it wasn't up to my standard. So, when they left to play, I cleaned it again. At least, I can enjoy its cleanliness and sparkle even for a moment!

I was again in the bathroom tonight taking my time dying my hair. I have gray hair every where in my head, but there is one spot right up front that makes me absolutely irate. Elijah thinks it makes me look distinguished and wishes I didn't dye my hair. I used to have an old teacher that had this big chunk of gray hair while the rest of his head was darker. I hated that teacher, and I never thought that big blob of gray hair made him look distinguished. On the contrary, I thought he looked like Count Dracula. In short, I don't think I'm ready to look like Count Dracula's sister. The interesting fact is that I actually like ladies with gray hair. But most of them are old, and they sort of fit the graceful aging of womanhood. I'm not old just yet, so I dye my hair.

While dying my hair, I was thinking how well I was doing in coloring it like a pro. And then, my pride was hurt; I got paint all over my skin. I hate failure and mediocrity, and I was seeing a very mediocre job right on its face. While trying to clean the skin with a cloth dabbed in alcohol, I kept thinking what Elijah had told me the night before. I had said something about my impatience and unhappiness that I encounter when I have to deal with people with low expectations and a mediocre attitude toward life. I remember saying to Elijah that I couldn't understand how people didn't give it all, but were satisfied with just a little effort or a short vision. He didn't criticize me for being such a snob, but instead just shared his feelings that we should see people just like the Savior would, with love and compassion, and always trying to find good in them. As I looked at my face and hair in the mirror, I was trying very hard to be compassionate toward me. I know I'm very demanding on myself; I like it and works well for my personality. I get mad at myself when I don't do an excellent job, even when it comes to just dying some dumb hair. But tonight, I tried to train myself into thinking something good about this whole ordeal. Well, as I was looking at the dark blotches on my skin, the paint on the bathroom door and in the sink, and on my shirt I was wearing, the only thing that came to mind was "Wow, I had dyed my hair all by myself withing 15 minutes and with a house full of kids." That's a miracle, albeit with a few little glitches.

As I was washing my hair, I was thinking about my day, and it occurred to me that just that day, after I had complained to Elijah about mediocrity, I had realized that I had completely failed as a mom in the health department. I called myself very mediocre. We have been in California for over a year, and I had just made an appointment with the dentist only this morning. A smile spread on my face as I realized that I wasn't that perfect after all. Just the other day, I laughed at myself for forgetting to give my friend her birthday present while her present rested on my dresser for days. And let us not forget the time when I spaced out picking up James from my friend's house.

I dried my hair with the towel, and then looked at the mirror. Not all the blotches were gone, but the hair looked good. No one is perfect, after all. We each have to work on our dark spots.