Yesterday was an especially busy day for our family. Although if we continue like this, it might become our average day, and that is not what I wish. My ideal day would be way different.
This year Gillian is in 4th grade, Jefferson in 2nd, and James started Kindergarten, which ends earlier than my older kids' classes. This means I have two different pick up times. Add to that a few things that I do for Charlton, and my day is totally chopped up, and there is no way for me to start any projects of my own, or even keep up with household stuff for that matter. I'm not complaining; that's what every mom with different age group children has to do every day. But my complaints seem to arise when school is out.
Yesterday, right after school we dropped Gillian off to her church activity, a must in our family, because it helps her fellowship with friends from church with the same standards as she, as well as it teaches her to put God and church first, another of those things we parents try to guide our children to do to give them moral guidance. After that, Gillian joined her best friend in a cross-country running which meets three times a week for an hour. Both Elijah and I felt good about this since it will help Gillian be healthy and strong. The boys decided last night to join her. She came home around 7:00p.m. After eating supper, she had to take a shower, do homework, have family reading, as well as family scriptures and prayer. That pushed her bedtime to 9:00. I'm sure she didn't go to sleep till 10:00, since she had to fulfill her need of reading.
Before school started, I asked the kids what kind of activities they wanted to attend after school. This question generated a wide range of answers filled with desires and legitimate talent-developing requests. Piano was on my list for all of my children. I'm yet to decide on that. A professional choir for Gillian was next. She has a beautiful voice and loves to sing, talent and desire combined. She also wanted art classes, sewing, and martial arts. The boys expressed desire to do art, tap dancing, martial art classes, chess team, and swimming. I was overwhelmed by their responses and faced by reality when imagined that if we did even half of those our life would be hectic, and above all we would have no family time, the most important way of spending time in my list. I've singed them up only for one activity each, with running just being added. But how do you find that balance between having a calm and happy family life and trying to help your children develop their talents, achieve high results at school, get their chores done, teach them life skills, and let them have some time of their own where they can explore life from their personal angle???
At the moment, I don't have an answer. I'm praying and simplifying my own life. I can't stay up too late, because I won't have enough energy the next day to maximize my time. My social life isn't as filled as it used to be. I'm still working on not being too overwhelmed with the idea that because I have each child on my own for various periods of time, I can't expect to accomplish everything that is in my list. I feel horrible right now as I write in my blog, and my little Charlton is talking and asking me to read him books and I'm telling him later. When James comes, I'll feel horrible that I'll have to read to him for a just a little bit and then take him with me to do grocery shopping or clean bathrooms. When my older ones come, I'll feel guilty for not spending time with James as much as I wish because I'll have to help the older ones with their homework or drive them to their activities. But I will try to cherish those half hours or an hours with each child and not let guilt for not doing more cut through me. I'll make sure dinner is ready everyday, so we can sit and eat as a family before anything gets in the way. And we'll always have reading time before bedtime. Elijah, the children, and I made a commitment to each other and each of us signed a promise that we will read every night first a classic and then scriptures no matter where and how tired we may feel. After dinner time, that is my quiet family time. It may be just an hour or so, but for the moment it is a good start.
What do you do to find that balance?
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Great to get an update on your blog! It has been too long! Thank You, and our love to all your family!
ReplyDeleteMelita - I read an article (I think in the Ensign) that said the idea of "balance" is a false one. We just focus on what is most important at the time. Life will never be completely balanced but we should enjoy what it is at that moment. We too have entered into the world of sports after school and now have practices 3 nights a week with games on Saturdays. It cuts into much of our family time since Larry works nights. Steven & Jackson have daily homework too. I'm still working on how to fit everything in but I think the answer is that it just won't. (No two things can occupy the same space.) I really think it is one of the great challenges of parenthood. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing great at combining family time and talents. Spending time teaching your kids your talent: reading, critical thinking etc. is a good way to develop talents at home.
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