I shouldn't beat myself up; we have had an amazing summer full of learning, fun activities, and most of all 'together time'. And I think that's why I don't want it to end. It has been an ideal summer, one that brings to mind summers spent by Tom Sawyer, Pippin Longstocking and Anne of Green Gables, amongst many other literary characters' adventures.
We started out this week with Monday being the day of running club, library visits, and grocery shopping. Jefferson finished his 40 mile goal and is working in running another 5 miles tomorrow. James and Charlton loved going to the library especially when they saw the new books I had found in the sale area. We missed Gillian tremendously. She was having a good time in her music camp and kept us informed by texting Elijah and calling me. I had let her borrow my phone, and she sounded so independent on the phone. I mourned and rejoiced that my little girl is disappearing into an amazing young lady.
Tuesday was Gillian's birthday. She spent half of it at camp, and then Elijah went to pick her up around 1:00 p.m. The camp leaders had made her a huge cake and all of the singers sang to her. She really loved her time there and was sad to leave, but she was very excited to spend the next three hours in the car one on one with her dad.
While Gillian was having fun at camp, a few friends and I took our kids to Alameda to visit the aircraft carrier the USS Hornet CV-12 completed with aircraft memorabilia dating from the WWII and open to the public. The history of the USS Hornet is an interesting one. It is the eighth of its kind that bears this name. Its heritage goes back to the 17oo's with the first Hornet fighting in the Revolutionary War and with the third fighting in the war of 1812. The one we saw had followed the legacy of its predecessor, the USS Hornet CV-8, which was responsible for launching the most daring raid in the wartime history, the Doolitle Raid, striking the Japanese home islands. When this carrier was lost in battle, the USS Hornet CV-12 was built and counted itself proud amongst 24 other legendary carriers built during WWII. As I read through some of the brochure provided at the museum, I was astonished at the hidden jewel this Hornet is. It said that this is one of the most decorated ships, having taken part in WWII, the Vietnam War, and the first two moon missions. Her aircraft destroyed 1,410 Japanese aircraft; was under air attack 59 times but never actually damaged; and it recovered Apollo 11 space capsule and the first men who walked on moon, as well as the Apollo 12 capsule. Needless to say, I really enjoyed learning so much about the military history of my adopted country. My boys were also in heaven since they got to see tens of aircraft as well as they got to visit the living quarters of the ship.
We had to cut our tour short because my boys and I had to head home and prepare for Gillian's birthday. When she and Elijah got back, we had dinner, and then Gillian blew out the candles in her cake and opened presents. I truly can't believe she is 10 already! Sometimes when she corrects me or my parenting style I feel she is older than her actual age, and at time when she plays on the floor with Charlton and James, or when she plays house with the little girls that I'm babysitting for my friends, she seems little herself. This is a beautiful age, but a difficult one; they are not teenagers yet, and they are not little kids anymore. But I have to say that Gillian seems to have found a balance between her instinct of realizing she is growing up and her desire to stay little for a little longer. I'm very proud of her; she makes me happy. She has accomplished a lot in her little life and she has a bright future ahead of her. However, if I have to point out one thing that I love about Gillian is her desire to please and make others happy. She is a sweet daughter always loving me and writing me beautiful notes; she a great sister playing and taking care of her brothers; she is a reliable friend who would do anything to bring joy into people's lives. And she is an amazing daughter of God for always trying to be obedient and pure. I love you, Gillian. You amaze me.
This past week my older boys have been obsessed with a new kind of comic strip character, Garfield. I know it's a boy thing to like comic books, and so early on when James was showing signs of liking this kind of stuff, I directed them toward Tintin. I really like Tintin books because they are not only funny but they have a moral theme throughout each of them. This week at the library, while I was looking for my own books, my boys had found two books full of Garfield comic strips. On the surface they are funny, but I don't think it makes you feel good. I actually think it teaches one to be mean and selfish. Am I making a big deal about this? Am I being a bit too uptight with this issue? How would you manage it? When I told my boys that they have to stop reading those, they responded that they loved reading Garfield comics because they are funny. So I sat down with them and explained in simple terms the difference between good, better and best. I shared with them my belief that whatever we put into our minds have an impact in the way we think, feel and act. It was a teaching moment, but I still bowed down with a compromise: I let them read those books for the week, and we'll take them back tomorrow. They weren't happy about it, but they agreed. I don't like making compromises for everything because there are certain things that I feel strongly about and want them to obey. However knowing that we can't win every battle because just like us they have their own unique personalities and will make their own decisions, I pick and choose which ones I use the style of compromise on. Parenthood is so rewarding but the hardest thing out there.
Speaking of unique personalities, I'm amazed at how different my children are from each other, and I'm assuming it's the same with most families. You would think that because they have the same parents who have taught and disciplined them the same way, they would be like each other. But no, they are not. It is a bit shocking to me because my brother and I are very much alike as if we were twins and not three years apart. In my husband's family they are all very different. As I have observed especially my last one compared to my first three, I've come to an unscientific conclusion that the more kids you have the more they are different from each other. One of the factors that might contribute to this is the lack of time that the parents of multiple children have to mold their kids and influence them exactly the way they want. Although I loved the fact that I had my mother's attention most of the time, I felt cramped under her tutelage, as if I couldn't develop outside her protection and guidance. In retrospect, I've noticed that my bigger growth happened when I was in college. The parent of multiple children such as myself doesn't have the time to dedicate 24 hours on each child, and as a result, each child is left on his own for a small portion of time to develop his own personality. That, and of course they each come molded a certain way from the existence, and there is a fine line between stifling their natural progression with too much cuddling and guiding that special spirit toward reaching their potential. Although each of us as parents have been given different kinds of children to raise and teach, and as such is hard to exchange opinions, I'm grateful that Heavenly Father hasn't left us to figure this out on our own. Divine scriptures and personal revelation make my work much easier,
This whole thought process started when I saw a picture of Charlton eating a bagel differently than anyone else. He refuses to cut it in half although it seems he does have hard time biting into it, and he loves to put butter on top of it, which to me makes no sense because it gets in his hands and face. But there you have it. Because I don't have time to sit down with him every meal and snack time to explain how things work, he has come up with this on his own and doesn't want to change it. Because he has developed this idea himself, he thinks that's the right way to do it. Or maybe he just likes it that way for some inexplicable reason of his own. I'm glad for different kinds of personalities; they add spice to life.
This week we have also worked very hard. The one negative thing of having kids at home all day is the fact that there is always way more laundry to be done or dishes to be washed or toys to be picked up. On Friday, after having accomplished washing and folding a particularly huge amount of laundry, James comes to me and tells me that he is so glad he is a boy. When I asked him why, he responded: "You work so hard and don't get a moment to relax. I've worked hard with you all day. When I grow up I won't have to do all of this because I'll be a doctor." Whether he was talking about the drudgery of doing the same laundry and dishes day after day or whether he had no clue that being a doctor is even harder, I don't know. Explaining to him the hardship and importance of any job wasn't what I was interested in. I talked to him about helping each other and being there for your family whether that be your mother, sister, or your future wife. He understood that very well, because when I asked him what he thought about what I said, he responded that although he didn't like to do these jobs every day he knew it was part of being in a family. I was in a sense glad that he thought my job was hard; hopefully he will be appreciative of his wife's role in the family. Saturday unfortunately didn't offer any relief either. Both Elijah and I had projects going and the kids split the day between helping their father outside and their mother inside. So today after church, I packed dinner and told them we were going to have a picnic. The weather was perfectly beautiful sunny with a light breeze, the food was delicious, the kids sat and played in the sand area nearby, and Elijah and I sat and talked. Perfect ending to a productive week.
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