The best we can be

Last week was the end of my kids' swimming practice. They loved it and they were very tempted to sign up for swim team. I was on board with that, but as usual Elijah's voice served as the reasoning one. If we had signed up for swim team, my children would have been in different teams, which translates into different time slots, all in all three hours straight. Knowing how much I love being with my children and enjoying summer with them, Elijah made me realize that if we signed up for swim team the whole summer would be spent in the swimming pool watching the kids practice and compete. I wasn't ready to give that time up. So, the kids have been improvising to keep cool till school is over when we'll start attending water parks and visit the ocean. (We've also added a swimming pool in our list of what we want in our future house, an item that is quite impossible for us to achieve in this area, but we like to dream.) Spraying each other with the water hose and eating cold watermelon are a few of the fun ideas the kids have come up to keep cool:

The other day I was cleaning the house, and as I was looking at Gillian's bedroom I was shocked at the state of her room. Being neat is something I've inherited from both of my parents. My dad was an absolute neat freak when it came to his personal hygiene, and my mom was (and still is) borderline obsessive when it came to her house. Elijah and I fortunately are the same; I think we might both be a bit ocd. So it is to no surprise that I like my kids to be the same. Gillian enjoys a clean environment, but she could also read or draw in a messy room without being disturbed by it. Elijah attributes that to the fact that she is still young, but I personally think the neat bug has skipped a generation, and that is something that I won't allow. When I saw her room and Gillian herself laying down in her messy bed reading, I got very angry and called her lazy, forcefully. I was mad and she knew it. She cleaned her room with way too many grunts and murmuring for my liking. Later on, she was giving us hard time during scripture time, and this is so unlike her because she loves to read and discuss scripture. I was still angry at her for her messy room, and I was about to yell at her for being inattentive during our family time. Elijah quickly measured the situation, and gave me an "I'll take care of this" look. After we were done, I took care of the boys, and Elijah sat and spoke to Gillian, calmly and kindly. They spoke for over an hour to each other, and when they were done, Gillian seemed happier and more responsive to me. Elijah remarked later that Gillian had been discouraged all day by the level of her school friends and the inappropriate things that they discuss so freely. She had also told Elijah how she felt horrible that she was so lazy and disappoint mother. She truly had taken me seriously and believed that she was lazy. As we discussed her situation, Elijah remarked how our children's generation is growing in an immoral and degenerated society, and for the most part the only encouragement and confidence they are getting is happening at home, which makes our work as parents so much more important and decisive in the molding of their character.

As I pondered those things that night, I felt grateful for a wise and calm husband; I felt an enormous gratitude for the gospel and the guidance it gives us; I was eternally grateful for the power of repentance and revelation; I rejoiced in the fact that I had good kids and a good relationship with them; I committed to use kindness and praise as a way to encourage confidence and the developing of skills. When I said 'goodnight' to Gillian that night I apologized for my angry words and actions, and then I asked her if I could say a prayer with her. In my prayer I thanked Heavenly Father for a wonderful daughter and listed all of the great things that Gillian is. It touched my heart when, after I was done praying, she asked me with sincerity in her eyes if I really felt that she had all those qualities. I almost had tears in my eyes realizing how much my daughter looked up to me. I also witnessed first hand the power of good words.

When I was in high school I discovered one of my favorite German authors, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. He is well-known for a profound rendition of Faust. I used to memorize quotes from his works. To this day I have one of those written in a sticky note attached to my scriptures:
“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”
As I looked at Gillian's eyes that night that quote came to mind and seeing how powerful and uplifting honest praising is, made me promise myself to treat her for what she could be.

Speaking of becoming and reaching our potential, I've lately realized that our kids are way capable than we give them credit. I've observed these last few days how much my children can actually do inside the house and outside, and came to the conclusion that with the exception of cooking dinner, they can do it all. The older kids do laundry (put in the washer and dryer, fold and put them in their proper place), cook breakfast and lunch (very easy stuff but healthy nonetheless, such as oatmeal, cream of wheat, waffles, toast, salad, hot dogs, ham and cheese/peanut butter and jelly sand witches, etc), do dishes (load and unload), set the table, vacuum, tidy up, mop, clean bathrooms, dust, wash windows, water the garden, sweep, carry the groceries, get the trash out, take showers, pick their own clothes, and many more. Elijah also uses them a lot to do projects outside the house such as wash cars, till the garden, and pretty soon he'll teach them how to mow the lawn and change the oil. Most of the time they are eager to do it, other times they know we expect it, and a few times they grudgingly participate in the work, but no matter what they feel the job gets done.

What made me want to observe my children this week was the fact that several times I would find Charlton, my youngest one, put water in the watering can and start watering the garden without anyone asking him to do so. He does this everyday, and everyday I'm delighted at this chubby little boy in underwear happily doing his job. Here are a few pictures of the kids working with dad:
When we were in Ashland last week, Elijah found this eye-catching inspirational poster that beautifully captures my conclusion about our children's abilities and potential. I placed it on the fridge to remind both me and my kids that they can be and do a lot more than we think.

Jefferson really liked the part about inventing, and his dream of being among inventors was fulfilled this past Thursday when we all attended the Maker Faire, a festival of various inventions, make-your-own projects, scientific experiments, arts, crafts, all of which were designed to entertain, inspire and share creativity with all ages. The fair is open for two days (Saturday and Sunday), and a sneak preview is allowed to school groups on Thursday. A few friends and myself gathered together our children and headed on Thursday, knowing that although we wouldn't be able to see even one tenth of the fair, we would also encounter smaller crowds. All of my children loved seeing fun projects and experiments involving such as Tesla Coils, magnetic power, robotic computing, motor manipulating, Lego creations, and many more quirky and interesting inventions.

Jefferson was the one who really paid attention and asked a lot of questions. He really wanted to go on Saturday and see some more. However, Friday and Saturday were days dedicated to Gillian. It was the end of the semester for Gillian's chorus, and they were performing both of those days. On Friday evening, there were only the higher levels performing, and Elijah and I attended that without the kids. The music was beautifully selected and flawlessly performed. Elijah and I felt so proud to see our daughter sing songs in Hebrew, German, Latin, Italian, and English. We especially felt happy that she has an opportunity to develop her talents and share them with others. On Saturday morning, I left Charlton with Elijah, and my mother, my older boys and myself supported Gillian by attending her second performance. One of my favorite things about this chorus was the fact that you really couldn't hear a specific voice come out of the group; it was all so delicately blended that it made the chorus sound as one voice. I really enjoyed it, and I can't wait to hear her in future concerts.

Just last night I was able to capture in picture my favorite thing to do with my family. We love going places, seeing and learning new things each day; we love playing and working together; we love serving others; and we love being with family and friends. However, my favorite thing with my family is our reading time, when we are all calm and certain of each other's love and attention. The picture below shows Elijah reading to the kids while relaxing in the hammock, the boys quietly playing with tinker toys, Gillian drawing, and everybody listening. Not every night is this perfect, but when we have it, I really enjoy it.
What is your favorite thing to do with your family?