The house is clean. The children are in bed. Mom is watching her movie upstairs. I just finished my book about Nietzsche. The brownies are cooking and will be ready right before Elijah arrives home. Today is Tuesday, and Elijah comes home late. He volunteers at the temple on Tuesdays, and doesn't come home till past 10. The clock is ticking ten. I've missed my husband all day. I miss him worse especially after having had him home for a long week-end.
I love Tuesdays, though. It's the only day in the week that I have two hours in the morning to myself without feeling guilty that I'm not reading or playing with my children. They are all at school and Charlton is taking a nap. I love to have my house clean in general, but especially for those two hours. I put my kind of music I'm feeling for that day, and then either read my books, or articles on line, or just finish a project I need done. I cherish those two hours. I try to think about my life, and ponder on how I'm doing. I feel very relaxed in my clean, quiet, and beautiful home, and thoughts come easily into my mind.
Today I kept thinking about the blessing of having Elijah as my husband and the father of my children. I was reviewing my week-end and kept thinking of the many activities we were able to accomplish. I noticed, however, as the events flashed back into my mind that Elijah was always working hard either taking care of the house chores, or fulfilling his calling, or making his family happy. Events of the whole week flashed back, this time showing Elijah leading FHE on Monday, coming late from the Temple on Tuesday, watching Star Trek with the children on Wednesday, attending the temple with me on Thursday, helping our friend move on Friday, spending one-on-one time with Gillian and taking me on a date on Saturday, attend his meetings and being a good friend to others on Sunday.
Yesterday, being a holiday, Elijah was home. I wanted to take the family on a fun activity, but Elijah mentioned that he couldn't since he had reserved this day for taking care of finances and taxes. I didn't feel like going anywhere without him. We stayed home and rested. That is to say I rested. The children knew that dad had a lot of work to do and he shouldn't be disturbed, but they were constantly drawn to him. They love him and feel very comfortable around him. Elijah stopped his work several times yesterday. He played for about an hour basketball with the children. He had bought each of them their own basketball, even for Charlton, and they were having a field day playing and laughing. Later on, Jefferson wanted to talk to him about things that he had been thinking. He asked specifically if they could talk without being disturbed. Jefferson loves to build and make things with his hands and imagination, and he was telling his father that he needed some help finding materials. Elijah was listening very attentively and Jefferson knew his father was taking him seriously. Throughout the day, Elijah played with James, talked with Gillian, fed Charlton, had conversations with me, and all the while trying to get his taxes done. As this stream-of-consciousness kept occupying my mind, I felt this overwhelming gratitude for Elijah. I felt blessed to have a man who takes his responsibility as a father and as a husband not only very seriously, but with joy and love. And as Elder Oaks once said "Love is the greatest principle to be learned and applied in the family setting."
The children feel his love in the quiet manner he speaks to them. They feel his love in the time he spends with them playing, reading, watching, talking. They feel his love when he tells them "I love you" throughout the day. They feel he loves them when he shares his testimony with them and his desire for all of us to be together. They feel his love when although he lacks sleep and is extremely busy, he makes time for each and everyone of them.
I feel his love in everything he does. I feel his love for me as he strives to be a righteous man, father and husband. I feel his love for me as he works hard to provide for his family. I feel his love for me when he asks for my counsel or when he offers his advice. His love for me is shown when he comes home everyday with a smile, regardless of his day. He shows his love when he asks me about my day, thoughts, feelings; when he inquires about my interests, goals; when he tries to encourage me to be the best or to slow down; when he calls me in the middle of the day and tells me he misses his gem; when he sends me articles to read and be informed so I wouldn't feel that motherhood has detached me from the world; when he takes care of the children so I could enjoy nights out with friends; when he patiently endures my mood swings; when he writes poems about me; when he tries to guess what is my "favorite" pastry for the week; when he finds movies that I would enjoy; when he kisses me and tells me "I love you" a thousand times a day.
I love Tuesdays. They give me the chance to think in silence for a few hours and be grateful for what I have. And although Elijah comes home late on these days, I welcome that too. It makes me miss him more, and be grateful more. I love you, Elijah.
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