Monday morning started like every other morning. Every body was happy and hungry. We ate, got ready, tidied up the house, did the breakfast dishes, and rushed to our running club. The bad spell for the next two days started there. The children finished their 10-mile card, and started on their 15-mile one. Gillian's friends were all there, and because they all wanted to play at the nearby playground as well as run, Gillian found the solution by telling them to alternate playing at the playground after finishing each mile. Her friends liked that idea, except Gillian, who had offered it.
What I saw next made me angry. She went to her brothers, who were continuing their run, and tried to convince them to go and play at the nearby hill, therefore stopping them to get ahead of her in their card. I didn't like it, so I asked Gillian to come and talk to me. After explaining to her that it wasn't nice of her to trick her brothers, she, in return, explained to me that everybody had the agency to choose, and she was just offering another idea to them. They could take it or leave it. She just didn't want them to get ahead of her, and so was trying to find a way so they could all be the same. Translation: I'm very competitive and I don't want any one else to win, but me. I hugged her and told her that it's better to lose with honesty than win with trickery. Besides, this running thing had nothing to do with winning or losing; it's just a fun way to exercise our bodies. She smiled and went to play. Later on, she wasn't resentful, but she was aware that her brothers were one lap ahead of her.
Library came next. I put Charlton on his stroller, and Gillian took the lead by pushing him toward the door, while I was getting the books out of the car. Jefferson started fighting with Gillian at the parking lot about taking turns pushing Charlton. I was in no mood to hear bickering at the library, so I told Jefferson Gillian was in charge and left it at that. While I was looking at the books-on-hold section, he approaches me and tells me that I always tell him that he is very responsible, and isn't that as good as being the oldest? What do you say at something like that! I told him that I was so blessed to have such a responsible boy, and that next Monday he will be in charge of Charlton at the library. The truth of the matter is that when he has Charlton at the library, he behaves as if he is in a playground, pushing the stroller between isles and in the middle of the library paying no attention to others, except to his little brother. So, you can say that he is responsible in taking care of his brother, but with some consequences to others.
After we all got all the books we wanted, we proceeded to check out. Charlton started to scream, James was talking my head off about this book he had found, Gillian was wanting to read one more page before checking her book out, and Jefferson had disappeared behind the receipt printer. Let us not forget, there was a long line forming behind us. Immediately, I sent Gillian out with Charlton, I checked James' book first and gave it him, so he could read it while I was checking the rest out. Jefferson was next. I kept telling him to come to me and not touch the book receipt or the printer. He seemed to have not heard me. I called his name three times, with everybody in the line watching me and my interaction with my son. I was gradually losing my cool. I also wanted him to help me with the books. James joins us in trying to help. Instead, a fight burst out as they were trying to decide which ones were theirs. I felt like screaming, but instead I pulled Jefferson's ear and told him to quit. The tears in his eyes made me feel so embarrassed, not because the ten or so people in the line were watching me lose my temper, but because in my worrying about what others were thinking, I had forgotten to worry about my children. Jefferson later explained to me that he was trying to figure out how the printer worked. That's why he hadn't paid attention to me. He apologized, and as I write this now I wish I had dropped all the books on the floor and kissed his tears. Precious children trying to deal with the adult world! Hard working parents trying to understand a child's world!
I have to say, though, the bickering and fights of this day were not done. Jefferson and James fought over blocks as Gillian had her haircut; James strongly told his brother and sister that they couldn't play with Claire when we went to pick up Abel at Elijah's work; Jefferson kept asking for things as we were trying to figure out what we could get within our budget for Gillian's party at the party store. By the time Elijah got home, I was mentally exhausted. I had no more left to give. Elijah understood the situation, and took us to eat out. When we got home, we had the kids go to bed, and I relaxed in Elijah's arms as we each shared our day. I think I fell asleep while he was talking. I don't think he minded. He knew I was tired. I was grateful to have a shoulder to lay on. Tomorrow was bound to be better...
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