Lessons from our children

This past Monday, Gillian asked if she could take care of Family Home Evening's lesson. We readily agreed, and were looking forward to what Gillian had in store for us all. She started by telling us that the reason we are on this earth is to be like Jesus and it takes a lot of practice to be like our Savior. So far so good. She continued by saying that today she thought we could each talk about something we could do better and work on that this coming week. Gillian had brought her white board out and started to write down our names, and then asked us about our goal for this week. Each of the children came up with their own thing to improve on, and although I love all of them, I couldn't stop laughing at what Gillian wrote for Charlton's goal: lose weight!!! The interesting part about Charlton's 30 pound of deliciousness is that it's all muscle. He may seem that eats a lot, but he actually eats tiny servings every two hours. This boy is stronger than me, and he moves as fast as a speeding bullet. It's his chubilicious cheeks that make him look fat. If there is anyone in this family who need loosing weight, it's me. Since mom came to live with us three and half months ago, I've gained an extra 10 pounds. That's a lot for a tiny woman like me.

Back to Gillian. Later that night, after we had finished our Family Home Evening, and all three of them were laying down in my bed with me reading to them (they call my new bed "mom's fortress"), Elijah was getting Charlton ready for bed. He came in our room, and was asking me about Charlton's routine. I didn't get a chance to answer, because mom#2 took that responsibility on herself and was advising her father on how to take care of Charlton. This is what she said concerning Charlton's teeth brushing:

"You must brush his teeth. They aren't getting a lot of brushing. Use the infant tooth paste, because the other one can poison him. Even with that tooth paste, use just a little bit. Charlton loves to eat it, so you have to make sure you are the one brushing his teeth."

Elijah and I exchanged a bemused look. He thanked Gillian for her advice and then proceeded to take care of the trouble-maker Charlton. The funniest thing is that Gillian has never brushed Charlton's teeth. Nevertheless, between practicing on Jefferson and helping James, she has become an expert.

I love Gillian's motherly care for Charlton. There isn't a time when I haven't heard Gillian, when getting ready to leave herself, advising her brothers to always remember to be good examples for Charlton. On occasion, I have heard Gillian tell her brothers: "You know how he copies you in everything you do. Just think that if you do something wrong, you will be responsible for Charlton's mistakes as well, since he does what he sees you do." She shows this level of kindness and responsibility not only with her family, but with her friends and acquaintances. I'm so grateful for Gillian's love for others. She makes me want to be a better mother.

A week ago I was just about to finish "The battle Hymn of Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua. Jefferson, observing that I was reading this book for a couple of hours, asked what this book was about. I briefly explained it to him, mentioning points such as hard work, being the best in all you do, achieve academic success as the themes in the book. I then proceeded to share with him a couple of stories from the book, such as the instance when the mother would make the girls practice their instruments four to five hours a day, and when on vacation anywhere in the world, she would rent the hotel's grand piano for an hour or two to practice. They wouldn't go sightseeing anywhere without having the practice done. I told him how these girls were the best in school and in everything they tried their hand, and it wasn't because they were smarter than anybody else, but because they were willing to put in their time. And then, out of the blue, Jefferson interrupted my passionate discussion of the greatness of this mom, by asking me this question:
"Mom, what is our purpose here on earth?" I looked at him and then as I'm about to respond, he continues: "Heavenly Father has put us here on earth to be tested. Do you know what we are being tested for?" By now, I realize he has something to say to me, so I keep quiet. Jefferson says: "Our test is about how good we are going to be, and not good in school or better than everybody else, but how kind and nice we are to each other. I don't like this mom. She sounds mean and she seems to think piano and violin are the only thing important. I don't think she knows anything about being like Jesus, helping and making others happy. I love you. You always try to make me happy." Of course, I was speechless. Jefferson is a deep thinker, but he rarely shares his thoughts with me, unlike Gillian that talks unceasingly. I was really shocked that he had so much to share and articulate so well what I was actually thinking myself was missing in the book. I gave him a hug and thanked him for teaching me so well. However, I did tell him that being the best in all things is also part of being like Jesus, academic success included.

Today, James was telling me how he was so excited to attend his friend Sophie's birthday party. As I was getting their dirty laundry basket downstairs I asked James if he needed any of his nice pants and shirts washed, knowing he loves to dress nicely. His answer was: "Mom, you know better. Pirates don't look nice. They are rotten, and dirty and scurvy. Just some dirty clothes would do." He made me laugh. James is so patient with me. Sometimes, when we stay home and I'm working on some project, he looks so lonely. I then drop everything I'm doing and read or play with him. On many occasions, however, when I'm in the middle of something, I come and find him doing something fun on his own, such as play dough, coloring, homework, and most of all making puzzles. He still loves playing with puzzles,and I think it's time for me to buy some new ones for this wonderful boy of mine.

He is also so kind and loving to Charlton that Charlton finds it a great joy to be around his brother.

I'm grateful for my children. I have grown in unimaginable ways since I've become a mother. It's just amazing to see the glory of motherhood in action.