Few days ago, I found Gillian being mean to her brothers. This is unusual for her, because she is naturally a very kind and thoughtful person. I let it go the first time, thinking that maybe she was having a hard day. When it happened again, I took her aside and had a little talk with her. Among other things we discussed was the idea that meanness is wickedness and of course wickedness was never happiness. We talked some more and then I had her say sorry to her brothers. Everything went fine.
Today, when I picked her up from school, as soon as she got in the car, she asked my opinion on the subject of kindness. A few of her classmates had invited her to play with them. Gillian doesn't have many friends at school; she just got here and most all of them are of a different culture. She desires friendships, but prefers reading on her own more. She is making friends gradually, however. So, today she was happy to be included in their play. After a while they decided to be mean to some other girls. She told me she was shocked that they would think to be mean on purpose. She declined to be part of it. Gillian went on telling me that she had told her friends what we had discussed few days earlier about meanness. In response, they told her that if she keeps being nice all the time people will be mean to her. When she asked why, they responded that people will like you only if they are afraid of you. Gillian wanted me to explain what this meant to her. It was my turn to be shocked. I couldn't say anything. I felt sad for those girls who had learned such a cynical lesson at such a young age. Furthermore, I felt from few experiences I've had, that what they were saying was totally true. People do tend to respect more others that they are afraid of or not comfortable with. The nice ones are always taken for granted. I was in a dilemma. I said a quick prayer in my heart to know what to say to Gillian. I decided to fight my own demons about this issue later, and just share my testimony to Gillian how kindness makes everybody happy, especially the person who is giving it. When Elijah got home, I shared with him Gillian's conversation and my own doubt at being kind all the time. Elijah shared with me his testimony of the Savior. Jesus Christ is the one person who was kind all the time. There was no power struggle with him; he was charitable and loving because he wanted to be. Nevertheless, the people he had been kind to turned their backs and crucified him. He endured to the end; he loved them till the end. Maybe what those girls had learned so early in their life was true: Better be feared than loved. However, it would not bring them happiness. This is what I read later in the scriptures:
"The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?
Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." (Doctrine and Covenants 122:8-9)
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